The Wind of Change

How can one expect tomorrow to be anything like today? Searching for a routine or normalcy in your life is a blind hunt, for nothing stays the same…which is neither good nor bad. It just happens. So adapt we must. The better you are at adapting, the easier your life is. For if you try and resist the change you get stuck left behind longing for the past that no longer exists and become damned by faded emotions and memories. Yet, accept the change, while bringing your past with you, find your new path and carry on. God is my only constant that I can rely on; everything else around me is constantly changing, or soon will be. It is He who guides me through the dark night, and even the clear noon day. Where with Him I can accept life for what is…or what it will become. Fixing our past doesn’t mean going backwards!

THOMAS MARION HANKS JUNIOR

Yesterday my dear brother Tom and sister-in-law Talitha had a terrible tragedy in their lives, that has in turn affected all of us. Born as a stillborn, Thomas Marion Hanks Jr. was a healthy boy who just a few days before had his cord twisted and passed away with no pain as he slept. Many emotions have become of this, and it is very hard to deal with. Why, when there are so many horrible parents out there, are these two wonderful, loving and amazing parents left with such a horrible, painful tragedy? I read some words of comfort by the Prophet Joseph Smith which read:

"why is it that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us?...The Lord takes many away even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again."

I know that little Tommy is with our Savior. I know that our Savior loves every one of us, and has reason and purpose for all that happens. As I held my little nephew in my arms, my eyes filled with tears, and my heart aching, I also felt the love of God. I was understanding and so grateful for the eternal plan of salvation that our Heavenly Father has prepared for us. In an attempt to help with any grieving (Tom and Talitha's, my own or any others) I wrote the following poem. I love my family so much, and am so lucky to have all of them in my life. God bless you Tom and Talitha. I pray for your peace and happiness. You were chosen to carry a special son. The title is "Thomas Marion Hanks Junior" which is only appropriate.

A turn like this one can never explain
The loss of something more than just life
Emptiness, filled with confusion and pain
May overcome us during this bitter strife.

Yet there were few who knew of this
And found that soon would be death’s kiss
Their purpose was for the Eternal good
Even though they’d be misunderstood.

THEY are those who now embrace
Our Heavenly Father and YOUR lovely son
For he is saved with pure love and grace
And the sacrifice of the Atoning One.

Together, in joy, they are once again
As He received Thomas with arms open
May we find ourselves with peace in heart
Because of His Love, WE’RE NEVER APART.

I LOVE YOU TOM JR., and look forward to the day we meet and embrace!!!! Look after us!

Breakthrough

It seems like years since I've started this. Everything beginning with a little hope, and kept inside as I try to cope. They told me it was right, what the heck did I miss? Cause now I'm stuck in a world of loneliness.

And now I don't know where I can lean. Everything beginning to to fall apart, and kept inside my confused heart. It's just like a puzzle, all clever and mean, to keep on going when the end is not seen.

So many now tell me what I should do. Everything beginning to lose its light, and kept inside, I've lost my might. I've tried to mend, to tape, to glue. The little hope lost for I don't have you.

So how much more should I even try? Everything beginning to escape my grip, and kept inside as it begins to rip. My soul, it screams, I cannot deny. As my heart dries up, all I do is cry.

This agony reigns, the Lord must be near. Everything beginning to darken my sight, and kept inside, not knowing whats right. Where is His hand to wipe this tear? To pull me from this world of fear?

Yet she's still there, she's in my grasp. Everything beginning to be so hard, and kept inside leaving me so scarred. Every surrounding is a memory of our past. How much longer must this endless pain last?

The future seem black, it seems so bare. Everything beginning to seem empty, and kept inside for I cannot see. All purpose is gone, love is not fair. For I seem to continue in getting nowhere.

The thought still stands, I feel betrayed. Everything beginning to be blinded by hate, and kept inside, at my heart it ate. With a future so worthless you have made. My past left to die and I have no aid.

But tomorrow will come, I'll have to move on. Everything beginning to seem pointless, and kept inside, everything a bliss. For I will no longer be your pawn. And the bitter feelings will soon be gone.

Happiness will come, the Lord is there. Everything beginning to be lifted away, and kept inside cause it wants to stay. As I get wrapped in His sweet and tender care. And the loss of you will stop to tare.

The answer is there, the whole time I knew. Everything beginning to not be sore, and kept inside my heart no more. God has His ways, this is true. To look back and see how much I grew.

Sowing in His love into my life. Everything beginning to relieve the ache, and kept inside for Him to take. Mending the hurt, taking away the strife. And removing from my heart this jagged knife.

I do not know what tomorrow will bring. Everything beginning to leave the gray, and kept inside until I pray. His love brings faith, and joy I can sing, for I've woken up to a new morning.

Whatever

What I find more ridiculous than a person that has someone fighting for them, is the person that is doing the fighting themselves.

Love is a bond between two people that brings more joy and happiness than anything else in this world. And once shared is no longer able to officially break. Yes, they might fall out of love…but the bond that was created will always hold a piece in the others heart, even if it were but a thin string.

Unfortunately, when that love is sometimes faded out, one of the two still holds on to that string and tries to make something of it. They might tug…give some slack for a moment…then pull yet again and try to hold on to that which is not sufficient enough to keep either party happy. So one fights…is it honorable…maybe, but not when the one being fought for is over the situation. This situation then leaves the one fighting in a whirlpool of gray matter that leads them to nowhere. The thought of romanticism or chivalry is blinded and only a matter of loneliness and them reaching for anything they can grab a hold of. All the while drowning them in confusion and misleading emotions.

Love is definitely something to be fought for. It is beautiful, it is pure. And in circumstances where it needs to be a battle, the two involved must be willing to fight for it. Then bringing both of them to a higher state of love and understanding. It leads them to stronger ties and unbreakable vows. True love will strive through dark, thick forests and land mined fields. It can conquer anything. Yet, the second one decides to fight for their own, by themselves, and forget about the other…the clasped hands then break, never to be held together again. So for the one to continue to wander in darkness…hoping to find the one that is running from them, as cute or honorable or whatever it may be, I find it ridiculous and stupid. It is demeaning to the one fighting. Fighting for something or someone that’s no longer cares is a black hole sucking energy and time and produces nothing but more black and emptiness.

Love should be found together. Love should last together. If one fails to feel this then the love is betrayed. The love is gone. No one should fight for the lost one. For it will only lead them to continue being alone and become the one who is really lost.

Selfish Lonliness

I once had more than enough

To accomplish all before me

Until I saw the tempting new

And just couldn't let it be

Rushing to grasp before it was gone

What happiness it would bring

Yet forgetting what I already had

I lost control, and was left with nothing

Game of Life

The fate of your move to advance your pawn

Exists in your heart to continue to move on

While you try to understand and do whats right

You always seem surronded by the black Knight

Your joy seems lost, it's just that they took

And your future glim as they cornered your rook

So you reach to your friend, and use our bishop

Then the slanted path your on begins to look up

Yet she is on the other side and can't be seen

Struggling with hope for you can't see your queen

There is no advice, you are not winning

And you find yourself alone, just a lonely king

Still one step forward you'll continue to make

There is nothing more from you they can take

No one will hurt or ever change your fate

Cause the game isn't over till you hear check mate

Stay strong and move forward and bear every scratch

For if you do, you will win life's match