Bad Dream

In dreams we often see the light

Where future times seem very bright

And joy will fill our soul with hope

To wake up happy and cease to mope

Yet at times dreams do us betray

And fill our minds with disarray  

Lies and deceit, not showing what’s true

To wake up sad, negative feelings accrue

Though reality seems to take the reigns

When daylight breaks unconscious chains

But still it lingers back in your mind

Could that really happen? Have I been blind?

Unless you fight to rid the smut

And remove the pit within your gut

The evil will grow and drive you mad

So forget about it and don’t be sad!

Waves

Alas the waves that crash on me
Foretell a future I can see

Of rounded edges and smoother sand
Each time I hear the tide at hand

All waves begin a clean slate
To start anew, and decide my fate

Yet I'll continue to disrupt the pure
Every step I take, I am sure

But waves will continue to come in
Each time a new life to begin

Love You Forever

Past months proved tough, extremely hard to bear

A cancerous rage, no, this can’t be fair

To see one so great, slowly fade away

Before we’re ready, we want her to stay

Blessed by her loving, sweet, and tender care

A battle courageous, but now she’s gone

Returning to God, her memory lives on

Touched the lives of many, gave selflessly

Our mother, friend, rock of our family

Never forgotten. Love you forever, Mom!

-Dedicated to Pat Barton, whom we lost too soon.

Today is a sad day, as the mother of my good friends (Kirk, Mason and Gina) passed on to the next life after a hard battle with cancer. Her memory lives on in them and their goodness. I was honored to have known Pat in this life. She will be accepted with open arms by millions heaven, especially the arms of our Savior and Heavenly Father. I wrote this in memory of her and her kids. Love you Barton family. Love you Pat.

One Foot In and One Foot Out

I probably thought it possible
Rather easy for me to do
To live a life of probability
Not choosing a side fully true

Of God, of Mammon, of many things
I didn't think it a grave sin
Just to live a life I thought best
Not allowing my life to begin

For I was stuck, It may be despair
Not understanding my purpose
Not exactly happy, not exactly depressed
This twilight seems not just

Yet still I continued onward
Thinking I'd find a truer path
I let myself taste good and bad
Thinking not of God's eternal wrath

Then grief, pain and agony came
Lost in my current blinded state
A decision needed to be made
And enter into the right gate

Truth won't come to those that balance
The gospel, sin, faith and doubt
And continue to live a confused life
With one foot in, and one foot out

This Pit I've Sown

It's a day to cheer

No longer fear

Of where your life has led

To be free of pain

So much to gain

Rediscover the life you fled

Your feet you found

Stuck in the ground

Not wanting to go on

For the path you had

Slowly turned bad

The good life now is gone

Yet Christ was there

With a sincere prayer

To help you out that pit

Though hands your own

Dug this pit you've sown

The path back He always lit

For now you've seen

On who to lean

To once again feel free

Christ is always here

Forgiveness near

It's now time to be happy

It Mattereth Not

Your rants and disbelief have made me think

But in the end made my heart sink

As I know the truth to be so clear

Though it’s hard for you to feel He’s near

But still I wish to spread the grace

And make our bond a safe place

So when the eternities it is you fear

I hope towards light you’ll want to veer

For in the end we’ll stand side by side

Both in our sins, good works and pride

When our Savior will take us in his care

And all our doubts will no longer snare

So my dear brother this is my plea

For your blinded eyes to truly see

That God is good, and God is true

And no matter what will always love you!

Silence

You can whistle while you work

Put your shoulder down without a shirk

And sing the song that gets you through the day

Yet the stubborn vice whose verse

Has damned my way which is cursed

And left me all alone in disarray

For no sweet tune seems to find

Its path to my soul or mind

And has left me with nothing more to hear

I would love to know your song

In hope's that soon I will belong

It's the lonely silence I'll sadly always fear

Enter Into The Mundane

You've waited to see what light would come

Pushed, struggled, awaited and sung

That all you’ve ever sought was near

But found a forlorn bareness here

A stagnant grasp that blurs your eyes

A sickness that infests the now

To then leave you questioning how

The dull day decides your demise

And life seems to ignore your cries

Yet still it doesn’t stop your stride

To stand up strong and keep your pride

And face each day with routine new

Your tested faith and hope holds true

But it matters not how tall you stand

Since all the days still feel the same

Your desire unmet, this is your bane

A grey, old, mundane path so bland

This course you’ll never understand

Ignorance

Ignorance
Alone - In it's cold room
Shuts enlightenment out
It's destiny - A blissful tomb

A Greater Purpose

We all have want for something great

To feel down deep it’s not too late

That good will come of routine blah

Escape our winter, start to thaw

And find the spring that brings us light

Purpose that helps us know what’s right

Though chains of plain, and chains of grief

Hold us back from desired relief

We can’t see the dark steps ahead

We fear the course, begin to dread

Our faith is weak, love’s hard to find

When nothings felt in heart and mind

What is there to encourage on

To help us move into the dawn

But that in which we must have trust

And deem our happiness a must

For joy will bring our promised land

Once we reject depressions hand

Ray LaMontagne - Empty

Well I looked my demons in the eyes
Laid bare my chest said do your best destroy me
See I've been to hell and back so many times
I must admit you kinda bore me

There's a lot of things that can kill a man
There's a lot of ways to die
Yes and some already dead that walk beside me
There's a lot of things I don't understand
Why so many people lie
Well it's the hurt I hide that fuels the fire inside me

Will I always feel this way
So empty, so estranged

Listen to the whole song here: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIUSikXex5w

La Perte d’un Coeur Rose

Sadness overcomes
Yet light still burns
It's hope, it's love
Eternal life we yearn

Sadness lingers
But hurt soon flees
With truth and prayer
Begging the Lord please

Sadness ceases
As time may heal
To know not why
But added faith we feel

Sadness gone
We'll soon embrace
That which was lost
Peace fills its place

Being Found

What hands can comfort the lost soul

Who wanders wayside all alone

What words can bring him needed peace

To make them feel that they are known

To walk a path no light to guide

Will granted cause one’s faith to stir

Their once paved road has reached an end

Direction gone - but still endures

For hope that one day soon will show

The needed light to bring them home

And feel the purpose why they’re here

And know HIS truth and that it cures

For Christ is there to lend His hand

No matter what, no matter when

His words are pure – His love for all

Will bring the lost soul home again

No Regrets

I've done some pretty dumb things in my life

Passed up friends who could’ve eased my strife

Sinned, slacked, said some stupid stuff

Broke up with girls who could’ve been a great wife

I’m sure you've found in your past the same

That choices you’ve made now seem quite lame

Hurt, heartache, hadn’t lent a helping hand

The confusion that comes for playing life’s game

But the second you or I begin to regret

Lose our faith, curse our past and start to fret

Confusion, chaos, can’t cease to cry

Is a sure way to despair for its agony we’ve met

So remember the good and know that we’re great

And to ask for forgiveness is never too late

Hope, happiness, healing in our heart

Comes from knowing that eternal joy is our fate.

A New Day

It’s sad to think of a happier day

That ends up leading you away

Just to feel the once cherished thought

And forget the blessing today has brought

To yearn for that of yesterday

Will only leave your life in gray

And keep your light from shining through

For each new day is a world anew

So make the sadness cease to stay

And learn to love your life today

If you liked this poem: you may enjoy this one

Lost Pursuit

If love isn’t real, if love isn’t true

Then why am I always thinking of you

Why do I try to push you out of my mind

So that the so called “new road” I may find

Yet circle about and find my way back

To the lonely way where you I still lack

To destroy our past, to begin anew

Is harder than you think, impossible to do

As I stay my hand as to not interfere

With your new life, it is something to fear

That I should try to finally move on

That these thoughts of you soon will be gone

But as stated before, our love was through

Alas it’s you, I will always pursue.

Advice

I've had a little thought i'd like to share. Some words of advice...which just so happen to deal with just that. Advice. This concept has intrigued me for the last little bit as I have received much, as well as have given some in my day.

Advice is something everyone thinks they are good at giving, which they just may be; however, at times, it is the very last thing one wants to hear from a person...even in a time or sorrow or hurt.

Everyone is ready to tell you this or that, that they know how you feel, that time will heal all (one of my most hated phrases...cause, OF COURSE I know that in time things will be alright. Life isn't meant to be miserable and sad. I know everyone goes through crap. I know that one day we all will be happy. I have faith in this. A lot of faith. I just don't want to hear it when at the moment life sucks).

Now, don't get me wrong. Many times we ask for it and certain advice is very much needed and helpful. But honestly, what is it that everyone is really asking for? Its for someone to just LISTEN. Someone to vent to, cry on or just whatever. And then after all the chaos has settled, you can look at the other person and smile and say nothing. Knowing you both have had crappy days. Knowing you both have been sad. Just being able to have some listen will solve it all. Just say I understand, I am here for you and hug it out.

I know I have plenty to say when it comes to relationships. But, does that make me an expert in relationships? NO! Does that make me understand what you are going through? Maybe. Bottom line is, whatever I have to say is BLAH BLAH BLAH, I've been through this and that and some more blah. But all I am really saying is, "I understand...I have had some crappy days in my life to, do you want me to tell you how I got through them?" Now, the words I speak may be comforting. But its the actual listening that does the trick.

Our culture is prone to it. We pray to God and tell him our thoughts and and our feelings. Believing and having faith that he is listening. Do we hear Him talk back to us? Does He give us council? Does He give us advice? Not really. What He DOES do, is comforts us, He calms our soul, He gives peace to our decisions, these and other similar feelings let us know it will all be alright.

Now, don't get me wrong. I 100 percent believe that God gives us revelation. That we do receive advice from scriptures and prophets and leaders of the church. And these things can be answers to our prayers. We should seek these things out constantly. But in my experience (here's my advice) I have come to love and cherish my Heavenly Father who ALWAYS listens to me gripe, cry, laugh, and share my life. He doesn't tell me any story about his life, or back when he had this problem. He just listens, and it is so comforting to know that he does. And I think we should all take a lesson from His example. That when someone needs someone to talk to...let them talk, forget about yourself for a moment and just listen. This will make a world of difference. This is what most of us really want.

Am I right?

Also, If someone ASKS for advice, well then by all means, spill your heart out...but make sure thats really what the person wants to hear.

Also, also: Do you like that this whole posting was me giving advice. HA! I make myself laugh.

Your Loss

I don’t think you’re listening, I don’t think you’re here

I think your eyes are blinded, you’ve never shed a tear

Your heart must be so empty, your soul must feel alone

The day you cut me from your life and left me on my own

But I don’t think it matters, the hurt that I now feel

For on the morrow I will stand, and say it’s no big deal

And I will soon forget the past, gracious for what we had

The loss of you will cease to ache, for I’m no longer sad

Mere Reflection

I see the pain in your eyes 

Of lonely days, of troubled lives

To feel nothing, to feel empty

I see you running in the sea

The vast array of nothingness

Has brought you to your very last

No demon now can bring you down

You've found your hell, received your crown

To live for nothing but hopes and dreams

Leaves distraught thoughts and broken seams

Your gaze is blinded by too much noise

And space and time and child’s toys

Something better must be near

But first must break this stupid mirror

Depression

You lay in bed, forget the truth

You curse that which is done

You lost your hope, that inner fire

You cannot find the sun

You meekly smile to those around

You fake to seem more true

Your passion fleeing, desire is gone

Your struggle isn’t through

You cry and cry, while all alone

You harvest forlorn fear

Your exhausted grip about to break

Your bitter end seems near

You forgot about your one true friend

You forgot about the Son

You forgot about His loving hand

You forgot what He’s done

You need to use that small seed

Your faith begins anew

Your trust in Him brings new light

Your burdens are made few

You understand His purpose now

You start to shed a tear

Your heart is healed when you allow

Your soul, His love to rear